Earlier we shared how to spot a scam before it spots you. Read here if you have not read it.
But scams don’t just steal money — they break connections and isolate victims in quiet, painful ways. When that happens, scams take away the trust that was once built between us and the people we love.
A daughter worries about her father who suddenly becomes secretive.
A friend notices her once-cheerful colleague turning withdrawn.
A mother finds her savings quietly vanishing into “investments” she’s never seen.
SG Law Guru shares seven tell-tale signs to watch for, and what you can do if you suspect someone close to you might be caught in a scam.
🚩 1. Sudden Secrecy About Finances or Phone Calls
When your loved one starts taking calls privately, whispering in another room, or refusing to share details about “new opportunities” — it’s a serious red flag.
Scammers often instruct victims not to tell anyone. They may even give warnings like, “This is part of a confidential police investigation,” or “You’ll be charged if this leaks.”
Such “serious, urgent” secrecy traps victims in fear and silence — believing they’re helping the authorities when they’re really helping criminals.
What to do:
When emotions run high, saying “You’re scammed!” can backfire.
Try saying this instead:
“I’ve read some news on calls like this, maybe we can double-check, to make sure that it’s not one of those scam calls.”
Keep your tone calm. Your goal is to create safety, not confrontation.
💬 2. Emotional Attachment to a Stranger (Romance or Friendship Scams)
Fraudsters don’t just take money, they build emotional bonds.
They invest time: daily chats, good-morning messages, shared “dreams”. Some even use DeepFake video calls to appear real. Every interaction is tailored to gain trust.
Then comes a “sudden crisis”, an “investment tipoff”, or a plea for help. They claim to be stuck “at the airport” or “detained by customs”.
What to do:
If your loved one seems attached to someone new but their story doesn’t add up, your goal isn’t to expose the scam — it’s to stay connected.
- stay calm, don’t argue. Once confrontation starts, the victim may retreat, and that’s exactly what the scammer wants.
- show genuine interest. Ask about the person, their story, how they met. the more they share, the more context you gain.
- offer presence. Let them know, “I’m always here for you,” without throwing doubt directly at the relationship.
- wait for doubt to surface. When things begin to feel off, they’ll remember your calm support and turn to you.
Don’t confront — connect. They need safety, not shame.
💸 3. Unexplained Transfers or Sudden Requests for Help
If your loved one starts moving money around, opening new accounts, or borrowing money, something isn’t right.
Scammers often disguise manipulation as “financial wisdom” — convincing victims they’re being proactive, generous or smart.
Many genuinely believe they’re helping someone, or about to unlock life-changing returns.
What to do:
You may not see every transaction or message, but you can still watch for subtle behavioural changes:
- they become anxious when talking about money
- they’re always topping up money or “waiting for a payout”
- they’re unusually stressed over mysterious “deadlines” or “instructions”
If you notice these patterns, show concern without pressure:
“Are you okay? How’s that investment you mentioned recently? Everything going well? I’m here if you ever want a second opinion.”
Stay calm and supportive. The goal is to keep them talking — not shut them down.
📱 4. Withdrawal or Personality Change
When someone starts spending long hours on their phone, avoiding family time or snapping at simple questions — it might be a sign of emotional isolation taking hold.
Scammers intentionally wedge a gap between their victims and their loved ones. They whisper things like “Your family won’t understand”, or “Don’t tell anyone about this — it’s sensitive.”
Once the scammer becomes their only “voice of reason”, the victim’s world quietly shrinks.
What to do:
- stay close, even when they seem distant.
- keep daily routines — share meals, chat casually, check in without pressure.
- avoid confrontation, but make your presence felt.
- if they resist, step back gently, not completely.
Emotional distance is the scammer’s weapon.
Steady presence is your armour.
🧾 5. New Devices, Apps or ‘Secret’ Platforms
If your loved one suddenly starts using encrypted messaging apps, “investment” platforms, or unfamiliar websites, it’s time to pay attention.
Scammers often guide victims to download “special apps” or join “exclusive groups” that appear professional — but these are designed to control communication and access. Once installed, such apps can let scammers spy, restrict contact, or even hijack the phone.
What to do:
Encourage them to only download apps from official stores like Google Play or Apple’s App Store — these platforms automatically block or warn against unsafe downloads.
Let them know that if someone recommends an app that isn’t on Google Play or Apple’s App Store — that’s already a warning sign.
🌐 6. Overconfidence in “Guaranteed” or Too-Good-To-Be-True Returns
When someone insists their investment “can’t fail” or “is guaranteed by insiders,” pause. This kind of assurance is often a sign of psychological manipulation.
Victims may defend the scammer’s story because doubting it feels like admitting foolishness. Accepting it’s a scam often means facing deep embarrassment — and that’s painful.
What to do:
Avoid sarcasm or ridicule. Stay calm and respectful.
Share neutral information like MAS Investor Alerts, ScamShield updates, or recent news of similar scams.
Facts speak louder when pride feels protected.
💔 7. Emotional Extremes — Guilt, Anxiety or Fear
As scams progress, emotional signs become clearer: anxiety over money, secretive phone calls, mood swings, or exhaustion from “proving loyalty” to the scammer.
Many victims aren’t greedy — they’re manipulated through fear of losing a relationship, opportunity, or their sense of connection.
What to do:
Let them know that real love, friendship, or opportunity never demands secrecy or money. Encourage them to reach out to someone neutral — a lawyer, counsellor, or the police.
💡 How to Help Without Losing Trust or Causing Shame
Helping a potential victim takes patience and compassion.
❌ avoid using the word “scam” too soon
✔️ ask open-ended questions
✔️ keep documentation — screenshots, messages, and transaction proofs
✔️ involve professionals early if there’s financial loss or coercion
If your loved one refuses to listen, protect what you can: notify their bank, block further transfers, and file a police report (999) or call the Anti-Scam Helpline at 1800-722-6688.
⚖️ When Law Meets Empathy
Singapore has introduced caning scammers and money mules under the Criminal Law (Miscellaneous Amendments) Bills 2025 — reflecting how seriously this threat is taken.
But prevention begins at home, through awareness and open, compassionate conversations.
At SG Law Guru, we believe legal knowledge should protect not only your rights but also your relationships.
If you suspect someone you love is being scammed — act with empathy, not allegation.
Because behind every scam story isn’t just a loss of money — it’s a person who once believed in something, or someone, that wasn’t real.
Disclaimer: This article provides general awareness and should not be taken as professional or legal advice.
If you suspect you or someone you know is a victim of a scam, call the police at 999 or the Anti-Scam Helpline at 1800-722-6688.
#ScamAwareness #AntiScam #SingaporeLaw #EmpathyInAction #SGLawGuru #ProtectYourLovedOnes